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Public. How do we perceive an institution that is deemed "public"?
Personally, when you say that this particular institution or agency is public - I think that it is something that's free, open to the masses, and ready to help the local people at any given time. Well, that's just my personal definition but we all know that this isn't the horrible truth.
When I was quite younger, I didn't really bother going to a public school. The teacher was great, I had many opportunities and was even sent to National events sponsored by the city. My mother worked in a public health clinic, and they helped the people that came. They were well funded, even if politics was always on the sidelines.
Some things have changed in time, drastically.
Early this morning while I was taking a bath, I heard my mother rushing to the kitchen and flushing her eyes with water. I peeked out and asked my brother what happened.
"Nalagyan siya ng sap ng cactus sa mata, un sa Elk Horn," he told me.
She got some Elk Horn cactus sap in her eyes.
Her eyes were very red, she was crying in pain and I knew that Elk Horn sap is definitely not a skin friendly substance. I finished my bath as soon as I could and talked to her with my Aunt. She was hesitant to go to the hospital for a checkup.
"Wala ngang ophthalmologist dun, Linggo eh!" my mom retorted to my Aunt as she forcefully tried to convince her to see a doctor.
There's no ophthalmologist there, it's Sunday!
"Magbihis ka na, aalis tayo," I butted in without giving her any option to disgree.
Get dressed, we're leaving.
One may ask - it's just getting something into the eyes and it's not really critical. Well, just for info - some substances that are taken into the body through the eyes can even be fatal. Our eyes are also sensitive organs and must be handled with care.
She suggested that we go to Cavite Medical Hospital. I'm not sure if it's a fully public hospital or it's semi-private. Either way, it's definitely not a fully private hospital.
When we got there, we rushed to the emergency room. The nurses came to us and asked what happened. We both explained the incident and how she was feeling at the moment. They actually seemed least interested to listen. At that point, I was already annoyed by their reaction.
Were they expecting a bloody person to rush in so that they'd get all pumped up??
Finally, one of them said, "wala kasi kaming ophthalmologist. Sa La Salle or sa St. Dominic po, dun na lang kayo pumunta."
We don't have an ophthalmologist. You can go to La Salle or St. Dominic.
I was like, what the f-------! Are you seriously driving us away?? Without even administering any first aid procedure. Uh, hello, my mother is in pain? She is in serious pain, in fact she's already crying (in case none of you uninterested nurses noticed).
"Wala ba kayong pang first aid man lang!??" I retorted.
Don't you even any first aid or something!?
The nurse left and after quite a while, she returned with a young doctor. I would reckon he isn't even around 30.
"Ma'am, kasi po kelangan ophthalmologist yung tumingin diyan. Kasi po... blah blah blah" the doctor told me.
Ma'am, you see an ophthalmologist is the only one who should check it because blah blah blah
For whatever reason, he blurted some procedures and some things I find unnecessary. I was only asking for first aid, and some pain relievers to the eyes. And I get a bunch of explanations that didn't really help and wasted our time. I was so pissed off, they didn't do a damn thing!
- They didn't even ask her name
- They didn't even ask about the situation, we told them ourselves what happened
- They didn't even check her blood pressure or take a look into her eyes
- They didn't even bother to think until I told them to go ask a real doctor
- They didn't give the slightest concern
- They didn't show any effort of trying to help
- They drove us away, that's it
We both left and decided to go to another nearby private hospital, Bautista Medical Hospital. When we got there, they didn't even ask if I had a medicard or if we were paying in cash. They immediately took a form, asked her name and all the information they need, checked her vitals while checking her eyes and finally asked me my medicard. They did well for first aid. A doctor came and flushed her irritated eyes with some solution, definitely not water. Then she applied some ointment to sooth the pain and lessen the swelling.
What if we didn't have money? What if I didn't have a medicard?
Emergency Rooms are supposed to be equipped with first aid for all types of cases. FIRST AID. I'm not asking them to do an operation or anything, I just want them to attend to my mother's stressful situation. Second, ER personnel are supposed to check their patient before they start driving them away, though they're never supposed to drive anyone away.
What about the masses? What about the poor people?
This is the reason many of us are suffering and many of us refrain from going to hospitals. Aside from being expensive, they don't really get what they deserve. Money is always a requirement, it's something we all know. Public hospitals are supposed to attend to your needs regardless of your paying capability. The payment may not be the issue here, but if didn't have any means of going to a private hospital my mother would still be suffering so much pain and might even have worse eye problems.
What is the problem here, is it the funds that's why they lack supplies? Are their nurses and doctors unskilled?
I've been to this hospital many times before and I have to say they're not bad, until today.
They helped us before and the service was quite good. Their "Emergency Services" is the biggest concern. It keeps making me think - how do we help other people with such attitude?
It's just very sad.
Now I completely hate it, why can't days be just stuck on Friday night to Sunday mornings?
Work isn't easy. I guess there really isn't any easy job at all - or so I guess it depends on who is doing what job - respectively. There are easy jobs - if the person want what he is doing; or if it's just plain simple. I've had one easy job that I despised since I feel like my brain is just rotting away from it. Now I'm back to doing harder things... I'm getting burned out.
I honestly don't know what to do next.
Should I resign? Should I transfer? Should I rest for a while?
I made a pact with my partner/friend, Ed. We're not making any more mistakes starting next week.
We'll see...
*sigh*
I was playing Tetris Battle last night today and I was committing the same damn mistakes being too quick in what I was doing. I was dropping the pieces without thinking - all by instinct.
So I guess that's what's wrong.
Oh gahd, whatever, nevermind.
I hate myself right now.
- Mood:
drained
I guess I can manage to fake it.
But I know, deep inside, it's burning... it's eating me up.
I hate that feeling, when it's like crumbling from the inside.
Anyways, I've been online for a few minutes at work during breaks or on my mobile but not really the usual online shit that I do on a daily basis. It's weird. I'm just so tired. But noooooooooo!! I'm not letting go of my internet life. I'm not gonna lose my socialnetlife. Hahaha I sound like a total dork.
Yeah, the dorkiness that my brother and boyfriend and I share.
Oh well, I'm back. Hope to have the inspiration to be doing some shit. Hopefully.
Err.. Whatever I'm tired, still.
Well everything I post here is a rant so that makes no difference but in one day, I must be really fucked. I was browsing down and saw an older post - and realized that I'm twenty-fucking-four years fucking old. A big nothing.
Oh God, why? Why so much life disappointments!?
I overcried today. No, I cannot find any solace. I just feel like shit. I'm thankful, though, for the people who make me happy - for those that really care - and for the one who really understands everything I go through. Without him, I'd fall apart. I'm honestly hurt, the thought of my friends flashing in my brain twists my stomach (aka "butterflies in my tummy") but no, it's not the same feeling that you get when you're crush is around. It's that uneasy, painful feeling that soon leads to my loss of breath.
Maybe they got tired of my drama. Maybe they have their own shit to deal with. No, they just don't care cuz my life isn't really their business. Oh the painful truth.
This is the time that I sometimes want to talk but no one wants to listen; the time that I want to cry but no one wants to have their shoulders wet with tears; the time when I want to let them make me laugh but no one cracks a joke.
Still I cried and they didn't even ask why.
It's funny that I'm this fucking old and suddenly that reliance on friends came back to life. I let go of that in college and now I'm fucking working in a company and I suddenly get that feeling. Yes, I relied on them too much.
Friends. They don't really have any obligation to anyone. They're just there and you call them friends because there's a lot that is shared. There's a bond. There's a relationship. Or so I thought. Sometimes the closest friend is the one who treats you like shit; the one who has the guts to degrade you and make you feel like an ass; the one who isn't afraid if you will get mad cuz they know you need (want) them. Or maybe that's just how I feel right now that I feel like I've lost someone that I treat as my friend. She may not know it... but I feel like I've lost her.
Right now I need her. Unfortunately... I don't know. She just makes me feel worse.
Oh well. That's life - you depend on yourself.
It feels like there's a chain around it, slowly crushing and suffocating my heart. I can't breathe. I can't think. I can't even feel the air coming into my lungs as I try to inhale as much as I can.
My heart is bleeding.
No, I'm not trying to be fucking dramatic because, apparently, my life had always been dramatic so this would seem rather quite normal - it's just unfortunate for me that I don't get used to my life's common events.
I hate this feeling when I feel like I can't rely on myself - especially when the people and the atmosphere around me is so cold. Everything and everyone doesn't seem to care. I just want to disappear, I want to vanish, I want to be gone.
And no one would even give a single fuck.
Oh well, "friends" and "life" just isn't as cooperative as those in my daydreams.
Its goes in my head all the time - even if I'm not feeling horrible at all. I can't really tell why. Maybe I still want to vanish, disappear... Die.
It feels complicated - why do I even dream of it. Maybe I have regrets. Maybe I'm not really happy. Maybe I feel like a failure.
Maybe all of my so-called joy is a lie.
Otherwise, it wouldn't even cross my mind.
Posted via m.livejournal.com.
I was talking with my mom, chatting nonstop like I usually do until I felt sleepy and decided to play some sounds and nap. I looked at Pinkberry and noticed that the girl beside me was also playing some sounds. Then she hugged her checkered backpack and wore her hood and slept.
Rebel teen, I thought.
The sad girl, emo-ing on the bus.
I smiled for a while and returned to my Jrock tunes and started daydreaming my never ending battle with kej23u5923uetrfkjgh dfdbnv f923075dfsdfsd 325h8923523bjkdfjnsd *this daydream does not concern you*
Then I looked at my playlist and started changing the songs and I noticed that the girl and I actually had our hands and fones on the same position. Then I looked at her left arm - and saw scars.
Young-emo-death-chic on the bus.
What do you think about these kinds of kids? Pathetic, no good, useless, hopeless, retards, and would eventually add to the world's unemployed drunkards.
I looked at my left arm and saw scars. I have a decent job and a fairly stable career (tho I'm still trying to reach that career-of-my-dreams), I earn really decent pay and benefits, I have a great guy that I'm looking forward to marry soon, my family's pretty fine now - so yeah, I somewhat managed to get through those rough days. I don't think you wanna know the whole story.
I'm not saying everyone's gonna be successful, neither am I claiming that. I still have flaws, a lot of bullshit going on *obviously* and still getting highly depressed at times. It's me, it's us - it's prolly never gonna change.
But that girl's prolly gonna make it. It's not a guarantee, but there's a chance.
Some people change, some change completely and some stay still and get dusty and rusty as if the world had ended. I've changed - or at least I'm no longer that irrational...
But tonight I'm giving myself another slash - Happy 24th! :)
Unfortunately...
Maybe it's just a cycle, it goes on and on, and unfortunately I guess it'll never stop. It really sucks. It seems happy. Maybe it actually is - but it feels like shit.
I'm never given constant peace, eh?? Well then think someone's gonna blurt out that nothing is constant but change. I don't really give a damn, it simply sucks. I'm pissed...
Posted via m.livejournal.com.
